What is Ariana Grande’s Eternal Sunshine Album About?

“It’s not like I’d ever change a thing, because I’m right here, where I’m meant to be.” -Ariana Grande in Twilight Zone

In this post we will be talking about Ariana Grande’s most recent album, “Eternal Sunshine: Deluxe Edition” and the ways in which this album is connected to healing and finding your confidence. This album paints a picture of healing from codependency, an unhealthy relationship, and a divorce. It symbolizes the pain that a relationship can put us through. Not only does it symbolize being hurt by someone, but it also symbolizes what it is like to truly find yourself through healing and moving on to another relationship that is healthier and matches your needs in a better way. It is so evident that Ariana was deeply hurt by her relationship but grew a lot from it.

Intro End of The World: Extended

Sometimes we may jump into a relationship because of the excitement that comes with a new relationship without truly getting to know each other to see if our needs and values align. When this happens, we can be left confused and disappointed as we realize maybe our relationship is not living up to what we expected it to be. Throughout the course of this song, Ariana is realizing that there is something not quite right with her relationship. She starts this song off with two questions, “how can I tell if I am in the right relationship? Aren’t you really supposed to know that shit?” She talks about her wish to tell the truth about her not being happy within her relationship. It seems here that she is trying to get the other person to understand her pain and questions if the person truly thought about marriage before proposing to her as she asks, “did you think before asking?”  

Don’t Wanna Break Up Again

This song is really sad, and I feel like a lot of us can relate to the lyrics in this song if we have been in a difficult relationship. In this song, Ariana talks about being constantly unseen and uncared for. She references getting into an argument with her partner. She ends up being sad and starts crying, and in turn, her partner turns the volume on the TV up so they cannot hear her crying. The pain of being ignored when you are hurt, especially by your partner, can cut deep. When we are in pain, it is so important for our partner to see that pain and soothe us. If they don’t, it can feel very lonely and isolating. Ari also talks about feeling as though she is “too much” for this person which is something we can experience if others have a hard time with emotional validation.

Here are some common emotional invalidating phrases:

• You are overdramatic.
• Stop being so emotional.
• It is not that serious.
• Oh, here we go again
• You are always upset
• I will give you something to cry/be upset about
• You are too sensitive
• Just get over it

The song goes on to say how Ariana worked through her codependency in therapy and her partner did not do any individual work to improve the relationship.

What is Codependency?

Codependency is a type of relationship that is not the healthiest form of interacting. People with codependency are typically people that have a hard time setting boundaries with others and often results in enabling bad behaviors. Think people pleasing on steroids. Codependency often leads to the one person giving a lot and never having their needs met while they are feeling as though they are left without anything at the end of the day. It can be a vicious and exhausting cycle because you would do anything for your loved one in hopes that they will be happy and meet your needs yet that is not happening and it drains you.

Here are some examples of codependency:

• If someone has an issue with addiction, giving them money or aiding in their addiction
• Making excuses for bad behaviors
• Ignoring bad behaviors
• Attempting to help change the person
• Anticipate other’s needs
• Feel sad when they spend their lives caring for other’s needs and wonders why no one does the same for them
• Feel bored, empty, or worthless if they do not have a crisis to attend to
• Excessive reliance on others for approval and identity – often prioritizing others’ needs over one’s own.
• Low self-esteem – feeling unworthy or inadequate without validation from others.
• People-pleasing behavior – going to great lengths to gain love or avoid conflict.
• Poor boundaries – difficulty saying “no” and often feeling responsible for others’ emotions or problems.
• Caretaking – compulsively helping or rescuing others, even at personal cost.
• Fear of abandonment – strong anxiety around being alone or rejected.
• Denial of personal needs – ignoring one’s own feelings or desires to keep peace or maintain relationships.
• Control issues – attempting to control situations or others to feel secure.

How to start healing from codependency?

Doing your own work on codependency is a very painful process and can be even more painful when the people we love do not do their own work. This is a gut punch because doing your own work on codependency can often mean you start choosing yourself and setting boundaries. You also start to realize the ways in which people may be taking advantage of you which is  a very painful process. Going the extra mile within your relationships can feel like it is filling you up and making you happy. However,  giving so much only  leaves you exhausted and feeling unloved. Ariana is talking about making these realizations but not wanting to go through yet another break-up. Sometimes, through therapy, we start making these realizations about our relationships, but we cannot let them go because there is so much to lose: years, the life you built together, the mutual friends, the family bonds, pets, the home you have built, the idea of what you thought the relationship was/would be, etc. Change is scary, leaving something is scary and Ariana depicts this well in this song.

Eternal Sunshine and Being Cheated On

 Ariana based the album off of one of her favorite movies entitled, “Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind.” This movie follows a couple in a turbulent yet passionate romance. They both hurt each other and end up breaking up. They go to a clinic to erase the memories of the relationship. In this song, “Eternal Sunshine,” Ariana is talking about this concept and because of this, it is evident that the pain must be pretty deep if she is wishing to not remember the relationship.

The interesting thing about this song is that Ariana starts this song off with a deep sigh. In that sigh you can feel the emotion of someone who is tired and has been deeply hurt. She goes on to sing, “I don’t care what people say, we both know I couldn’t change you. I guess you could say the same, can’t rearrange truth. I’ve never seen someone lie like you do, so much even you start to think it’s true, get me out of this loop.” If you have ever been in a relationship with someone who is a chronic liar this line is relatable. There are some people out there that lying comes easily to. As we know, lies often become known with time. When this happens this tends to erode trust within relationships which tends to be a core foundation of a healthy relationship.

Ariana goes on to illude that her partner was cheating on her as another woman was laying on her partner’s chest in her bed. Being cheated on can erode your self-esteem. It can make you feel as though you are unlovable, unattractive, and not good enough. These lyrics represent giving yourself to a person fully and your partner causing betrayal trauma. We can often find ourselves asking how to I heal from relationship trauma?

 Ariana talks about matching hurt with hurt, so she hurt her partner back possibly by moving on fast with a new partner. Ariana references, “I found a good boy and he is on my side you are just my eternal sunshine.” This is a reference to the movie as Ariana is saying this experience has been so painful she wants to erase it from her mind and pretend it never happened. She even references having trouble breathing and trying to hold it together by not breaking. Ari has been criticized heavily in the media as of late and a lot of people have noted that her eyes appear “dead.” It seems that her eyes appear sad from all of the trauma she has gone through. Phew, a heartbreak that cuts that deep is usually one that can stay with us for many years, and her song displays this pain perfectly.

Twilight Zone

When we are going through something traumatic or difficult our survival instincts kick in. These are fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. These are innate natural instincts that we have had since the evolution of being human. The reason this is in place on a basic level is to protect us from harm and give us the will to survive without even thinking in the moment and simply act to get to safety.   After we experience trauma or a difficult situation it is normal to ask, “did that really happen?” due to our survival instincts kicking in. Ariana sings about this concept in this song, and she plays it out beautifully.

 Ariana says, “does she know you’re not who you say you are? Cause I might give her a call. Or was I just not me at all?” In this part of the song, it really seems like she is reflecting on her past self. She is wanting to go warn herself that her past partner is not who they seem to be, and she also questions who she was in the relationship or if it really happened as she sings, “sometimes I just can’t believe you happened.” This concept here really shows that twilight effect we can experience after something traumatic.

One of the most powerful lines of this song is when she says, “it’s not like I’d ever change a thing, cause I’m right here where I meant to be.” This line resembles posttraumatic growth. Posttraumatic growth after going through trauma is where you have truly healed, meaning you have not suppressed your trauma or pretended it is not there. This means you have done the very hard and scary work to face the trauma head on, and you are now on the other side. This can often lead to stronger relationships, increased self-confidence, and feeling a brighter joy in life. Oftentimes, you feel somewhat grateful for what you went through because if you did not, you would not have experienced this type of personal growth. This does not mean that you loved the trauma you went through, it just means you have a deeper purpose from it. This can lead to a higher purpose and calling of helping others get through what you got through because you understand how dark it was and how bright it can be.

Past Life

This is one of my favorites! This is such an emotionally powerful song. In this song, Ariana is reflecting back on this relationship after some time has passed. It seems that she has done a lot of healing to get to this song and the feelings she is conveying within it. She talks about when she entered the relationship, she was lost as she says, “a moth to a flame, I didn’t think I just flew, you think I’m lost but that’s just how you found me.” She also reflects back on some differing perspectives she has on the relationship now that some time has passed. When Ariana sings, “I used to think you were the medicine, but you were code blue” she is talking about how she once thought this relationship was the best thing to happen to her but realized that in the end it was actually killing her emotionally.

The most powerful lyrics of this song are when Ariana goes on to say, “always wondered what would happen if I let you lose me, always wondered what would happen if I let myself need more, might fuck around and elevate my expectations, now I’m fine to leave you in the past life.” THIS, this right here! This is taking your power back. Being a chronic people pleaser oftentimes means we are putting everyone else’s needs above our own. It means we may have super low expectations, so low in fact that the bar is on the floor. We accept the BARE minimum. Here Ari is saying no to all of those low expectations, and she is saying she has boundaries and realizes her self-worth. She realizes here that this relationship does not even measure up to who she is at all, so she is fine to leave this in the past. This my friend is the ultimate form of choosing yourself and loving yourself. If our standards are low of course people are going to aim low, and we will be hurt time and time again. If we understand that we deserve more, we deserve the same love and respect that we put out, then it will find us.

Hampstead

This is the closing song of the album, and it is very symbolic to closing this chapter on her life which is very relatable. There has been a lot of controversy surrounding her current partner and the timing of their relationship and Ariana addresses this a bit in the song. Hamstead was one of the last places Ari was seen with her past partner so many believe this song heavily addresses him as well. I believe it also addresses the press surrounding these controversies. Ari starts the song off by saying, “I left my heart at a pub in Hampstead, but I misplaced my mind in a good way, threw away my reputation, but saved us more heartbreak.” To me these lyrics reflect breaking the cycle of an unhealthy relationship and rerouting your choices to have a healthier life no matter the negative consequences (hence throwing away her reputation). Oftentimes we are stuck in this vicious cycle of unhealthy patterns. We can get stuck in these patterns and feel so miserable. Ariana talks about throwing away her reputation in order to choose what was right for her and break this pattern of being in an unhappy relationship.

With the heavy criticism Ariana has faced over this situation, Ari sings, “what’s wrong with a little bit of poison, tell me, I’d rather be seen alive than dying by your point of view, I do, I do, I do.” She is referencing that she would rather face the backlash then stay in a relationship that was killing her emotionally. She would rather choose herself and make others mad than stay in something that is not right for her. This right here is true healing of codependence and people pleasing, being able to choose yourself.

“I don’t remember too much of the last year, but I knew who I was when it got here. Cause I am still the same but only entirely different.” This symbolizes further posttraumatic growth. This right here is finding yourself. When we go through hard times and trauma, we often think that we just need to get back to the person that we were before the experience happened. What we don’t realize is that we have pieces of ourselves that we need to let go of in order to grow so we really cannot go back to who we were. That is because we are going to become a beautiful version of ourselves and in order to do so there is some loss in that. We are going to have the life we always deemed of and in order to do this we must heal and let those pieces go.  Welcome to healing Miss Ari.

If any of this resonated with you, or you’re just a fellow Ari fan that wants to channel the same healing she has, please reach out, I would be happy to help you start working on healing and choosing yourself. I provide deeper trauma work and EMDR therapy in Longwood, Florida. Book a free consultation on my main page!

Disclaimer:
I am a licensed mental health therapist, and this blog post reflects my professional perspective as well as my personal interpretation of the music discussed. Please note that the views expressed here are my own and are based on subjective analysis; they may or may not align with the artist’s intended meaning or with others’ interpretations. This post is intended for educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for personalized mental health treatment. If you are in crisis or need support, please seek help from a qualified mental health provider in your area. I do not own the rights to the music, lyrics, or any associated content referenced in this post. All rights to the original music and related intellectual property belong to their respective artists, writers, and copyright holders. This post is shared under fair use for purposes of commentary, criticism, and education.